7 Things your Muslim wife
won’t tell you
Most men have a hard time
understanding women. Even a woman
they’ve been married to for years. One
minute she’s perfectly fine, the next,
she’s crying like a baby. She complains
about something but when we offer
advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t
satisfied. After several years of marriage
(and counseling) I’ve learned to not
worry so much about what my wife
says. Instead, I should worry about
what she doesn’t say.
1. Above all, She Wants Your love
When a wife shows her husband less
respect, he in turn shows her less love.
And when a husband shows his wife
less love, she in turn shows him less
respect.
And the vicious cycle repeats itself.
Stop this prophecy before it becomes
self-fulfilling. Show love to your wife.
That’s what she wants. Love her despite
her flaws and quirks.
And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite
your flaws and quirks.
2. She’s Bored
It’s the same thing every day.
Week in and week out.
Not only is she bored but she’s also
tired.
She has to care for the kids and run the
household and then pamper you.
Just thinking about doing that every day
makes me want to crawl under my
covers and hide. I can imagine how the
average Muslim housewife must feel.
And let’s not forget about working
woman. Many Muslim women have to
work a full time job as well as hold a
house down.
So brothers, I implore you, make your
wife feel special. Give her a break.
Take her out sometimes. Surprise her
with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite
desert home.
Just do something every now and then
to break the monotony.
3. She Wants to be Complimented
Appreciation. Everybody wants it. No
one wants to feel as if the hard work
they do goes unnoticed or even worse,
it taken for granted.
Your wife does not have to clean your
dirty clothes. And she does not have to
cook your meals. But she does. And she
does that on top of all the other things
in her life:
Caring for the kids.
Working or going to school.
Striving to be a better Muslimah.
Show your Muslim wife that you
appreciate and are thankful for the
things she does to maintain you and
your family. A simple “thank you” is a
good start.
4. She’s Insanely Jealous
There’s a reason most women don’t
care for polygamy. Be very careful how
you talk about other women around
your wife. Don’t ever compare your wife
to another woman.
Don’t compare her to some female
movie star.
Don’t compare her to your mother.
Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife
(or other wife!)
She’s wants to know and believe that
she is the center of your universe. So
make her feel that way.
Even the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives got
jealous. Aisha (RA) even got jealous of
Khadijah (RA) who was dead.
Expect, and respect, the same type of
jealousy from your wife.
5. She Wants You to Help Her become A
Better Muslimah
I can’t stress enough the importance of
men taking the role of leader within
their families.
And that’s the problem with a lot of
Muslim men these days.
Not only are they not being good
leaders, they’re being led by their wives
(or mothers, or other women in their
lives).
Your wife desires and wants you to be
her leader. And what better way to lead
her than to be show her how to be a
better Muslimah?
But you can’t show her how to become
better if you’re not that great either.
Therefore, you have to upgrade your
Iman. You have to improve yourself and
then pass it on to her in a gentle,
respectful way.
6. She Doesn’t Like to Nag, But
Sometimes You Make It Hard
It’s a common myth that women like to
nag their husbands. That’s not entirely
true.
Yes, there are some people (men and
women) whom you can never please.
No matter what you do, they’ll always
find fault in something. Let’s be
reminded of the following hadith:
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said:
“I was shown the Hell-fire and that the
majority of its dwellers were women
who were ungrateful.” It was asked,
“Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are
they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied,
“They are ungrateful to their husbands
and are ungrateful for the favors and
the good (charitable deeds) done to
them. If you have always been good
(benevolent) to one of them and then
she sees something in you (not of her
liking), she will say, ‘I have never
received any good from you.” – Sahih
Bukhari.
So, yes sisters should be careful about
denegrating the things your husband
does for you.
But very often, you brother, make it
hard for her to hold your tongue.
Perhaps you’re always finding fault with
her and she looks for things in your
character to get even.
Perhaps you’re not working (or not
working hard enough) and she has to
work to take up some slack.
Perhaps you’re just not that great of a
guy.
Once again, upgrade yourself and give
her less reasons to complain and nag.
7. More Than Anything, She Wants a
Stable, Happy Relationship With You
Women don’t get married just because
they think it’s gonna be fun.
They get married because they want a
happy family life and they believe you’re
gonna give it to them.
Outside of her religious duties, that’s
the most important thing in a Muslim
woman’s life. Raising a happy, stable,
Muslim family.
The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you
to give that to her.
Stop acting like a jerk. Be a good
husband to her. Be kind. Show her you
love her.
Don’t threaten her with divorce or
taking a second wife. Yes, you have the
right to do both. But using them as
threats is inappropriate and detrimental
to your marriage.
Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of
Shaytan, and be patient with her.
There’s nothing Shaytan would love
more than to destroy your marriage.
won’t tell you
Most men have a hard time
understanding women. Even a woman
they’ve been married to for years. One
minute she’s perfectly fine, the next,
she’s crying like a baby. She complains
about something but when we offer
advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t
satisfied. After several years of marriage
(and counseling) I’ve learned to not
worry so much about what my wife
says. Instead, I should worry about
what she doesn’t say.
1. Above all, She Wants Your love
When a wife shows her husband less
respect, he in turn shows her less love.
And when a husband shows his wife
less love, she in turn shows him less
respect.
And the vicious cycle repeats itself.
Stop this prophecy before it becomes
self-fulfilling. Show love to your wife.
That’s what she wants. Love her despite
her flaws and quirks.
And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite
your flaws and quirks.
2. She’s Bored
It’s the same thing every day.
Week in and week out.
Not only is she bored but she’s also
tired.
She has to care for the kids and run the
household and then pamper you.
Just thinking about doing that every day
makes me want to crawl under my
covers and hide. I can imagine how the
average Muslim housewife must feel.
And let’s not forget about working
woman. Many Muslim women have to
work a full time job as well as hold a
house down.
So brothers, I implore you, make your
wife feel special. Give her a break.
Take her out sometimes. Surprise her
with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite
desert home.
Just do something every now and then
to break the monotony.
3. She Wants to be Complimented
Appreciation. Everybody wants it. No
one wants to feel as if the hard work
they do goes unnoticed or even worse,
it taken for granted.
Your wife does not have to clean your
dirty clothes. And she does not have to
cook your meals. But she does. And she
does that on top of all the other things
in her life:
Caring for the kids.
Working or going to school.
Striving to be a better Muslimah.
Show your Muslim wife that you
appreciate and are thankful for the
things she does to maintain you and
your family. A simple “thank you” is a
good start.
4. She’s Insanely Jealous
There’s a reason most women don’t
care for polygamy. Be very careful how
you talk about other women around
your wife. Don’t ever compare your wife
to another woman.
Don’t compare her to some female
movie star.
Don’t compare her to your mother.
Never, ever compare her to your ex-wife
(or other wife!)
She’s wants to know and believe that
she is the center of your universe. So
make her feel that way.
Even the Prophet’s (pbuh) wives got
jealous. Aisha (RA) even got jealous of
Khadijah (RA) who was dead.
Expect, and respect, the same type of
jealousy from your wife.
5. She Wants You to Help Her become A
Better Muslimah
I can’t stress enough the importance of
men taking the role of leader within
their families.
And that’s the problem with a lot of
Muslim men these days.
Not only are they not being good
leaders, they’re being led by their wives
(or mothers, or other women in their
lives).
Your wife desires and wants you to be
her leader. And what better way to lead
her than to be show her how to be a
better Muslimah?
But you can’t show her how to become
better if you’re not that great either.
Therefore, you have to upgrade your
Iman. You have to improve yourself and
then pass it on to her in a gentle,
respectful way.
6. She Doesn’t Like to Nag, But
Sometimes You Make It Hard
It’s a common myth that women like to
nag their husbands. That’s not entirely
true.
Yes, there are some people (men and
women) whom you can never please.
No matter what you do, they’ll always
find fault in something. Let’s be
reminded of the following hadith:
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas: The Prophet said:
“I was shown the Hell-fire and that the
majority of its dwellers were women
who were ungrateful.” It was asked,
“Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are
they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied,
“They are ungrateful to their husbands
and are ungrateful for the favors and
the good (charitable deeds) done to
them. If you have always been good
(benevolent) to one of them and then
she sees something in you (not of her
liking), she will say, ‘I have never
received any good from you.” – Sahih
Bukhari.
So, yes sisters should be careful about
denegrating the things your husband
does for you.
But very often, you brother, make it
hard for her to hold your tongue.
Perhaps you’re always finding fault with
her and she looks for things in your
character to get even.
Perhaps you’re not working (or not
working hard enough) and she has to
work to take up some slack.
Perhaps you’re just not that great of a
guy.
Once again, upgrade yourself and give
her less reasons to complain and nag.
7. More Than Anything, She Wants a
Stable, Happy Relationship With You
Women don’t get married just because
they think it’s gonna be fun.
They get married because they want a
happy family life and they believe you’re
gonna give it to them.
Outside of her religious duties, that’s
the most important thing in a Muslim
woman’s life. Raising a happy, stable,
Muslim family.
The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you
to give that to her.
Stop acting like a jerk. Be a good
husband to her. Be kind. Show her you
love her.
Don’t threaten her with divorce or
taking a second wife. Yes, you have the
right to do both. But using them as
threats is inappropriate and detrimental
to your marriage.
Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of
Shaytan, and be patient with her.
There’s nothing Shaytan would love
more than to destroy your marriage.
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